Decisions.

I’m trying to figure out exactly what I want to do. I’ve been looking for jobs — with little success — and slowly draining my savings. I also read that I may have to start paying off the student loans of which I am wholly unequipped, given the above situation. What a pain.

Over the past year, I’ve told myself and others that while I’m young, I want to be flexible and not completely tied down to a place. I certainly don’t want to be tied to a job and work my life away either. I think my best course of action is rebuilding my savings, providing a buffer so I can take more risks in the future.

I had the idea of being at least slightly nomadic — a lot of my closest friendships have deteriorated which was most of what was tying me to one place. I also just want to get exposed to a lot of new people and places while I’m young. Being able to try new things and expose myself to the world is what I need. The idea of being stuck working a job for most of my life is painful, to say the least.

I think I need that ability to change, grow, and be untethered. It’s difficult to do that and still make money, have savings, and take risks, but it’s something I want to aim for, especially at this age. And really what do I have to lose (besides a roof over my head, my dignity, and my sanity)?