Recently, I’ve started to arrive at the idea that there is a significant distinction between how our brain perceives reality, and how reality actually is. It’s always been my assumption that what I’m seeing and feeling represents the reality of the situation I’m in. If I’m disappointed or frustrated, it’s because the situation is objectively disappointing or frustrating. I have come to find that this belief is often false.
When I perceive a situation, my senses attempt to provide the most accurate, objective version of reality, minimizing their own biases as much as possible. After this point, I begin to filter that data through my brain, where I began to make assertions about the situation, project my own thoughts and feelings, create nebulous connections, and personify the previously objective reality.
This seems to be unavoidable. Just like in meditation, attempting to remove any thoughts is futile, rather, you must realize that the thoughts are going to come, and accept that. My perception of reality can never be cleaned of all its biases. This is not the issue. The true issue is the way I distort reality, not the distortion itself.
My perception of many situations often makes me feel much worse than the situation requires. It’s easy for me to perceive a situation as being objectively negative, despite not losing anything, not being in danger, or having any risks whatsoever. Even in situations that do carry some risk, and some loss, I often react in a way that’s completely unproductive and more detrimental than the reality of the situation.
After realizing that I’m not accurately perceiving reality, even though it feels like I am, it has become much easier to picture simply shifting my perspective. Before, I would feel a greater loss of control because we have a very limited set of options when it comes to manipulating actual reality. However, since my perception is most or at least a significant part of what I experience, changing that is an important step to changing my outlook on everything. Fortunately, perception is extremely malleable, if you have the right tools.
Shifting our mindset and perspective is a simple concept, but of course, we are fighting against years and potentially decades of ingrained behavior. But, realizing that there is an option to control a significant part of we feel means that over time, these habits can be developed. My most important goal now is to cultivate these tools and slowly unravel the negative rot that I’ve allowed to breed. If I can work towards that everyday, I believe that I really can learn to live with anxiety.