Releasing the Tethers.

I’ve realized that what’s caused me a ton of anguish is attaching a portion of my identity to inherently unstable and impermanent states. If those states change, as they do, I find it excruciating and impossible to function, because I feel as if a portion of me is destroyed in the process. It means that I will cling to these ephemeral states and force them, even when they are due to change, always to my own detriment or the detriment of others.

I’ve always had this beautiful, naive idea that the things I find important need to last forever. That would be nice, but nothing is forever, nor does it need to be. If I attach the idea of permanence to a fleeting state, then I will always be left to hurt and curse the universe for moving the way it’s always moved. Instead, I can still love the things and people I love, while also accepting their impermanence. I can still hurt when they go, but I will not destroy myself, clawing back at what’s already over.

I will love now for what it is — my identity is fluid and always changing. There is no reason to tether myself to unstable ground, for I will be pulled down with it.